"Insomnia Bird (Version 2)," 2016, Acrylic on plywood
Listening to: "Holocene" -- Bon Iver
This second version of Insomnia Bird was created in 8 hours, including prep time. As the first completed personal painting in 7 years, it brings relief. A vital part of me that's been neglected is given the priority it deserves, before it was relegated as a luxury, buried under work and stress. My creative soul is breathing and stretching again, no longer gathering dust.
My new anxiety (and don't we all have one that replaces another?) is discovering a path with my art-making, and forging a living in the creative field. "Insomnia Bird (Version 2)" is an artifact of how far I've come, and how much more there is to learn.
Despite moments where the reality of making a fraction of my previous income grips me, gratitude overflows; there are part-time tutoring opportunities, health insurance has been obtained, personal relationships are flourishing due to an influx in time and energy, and my sleep hasn't been better in years.
This journey is worth more than a paycheck. It is my struggle to find an arena where I can grow and contribute without compromising my health. My parting reflection is from DailyQuotes.com: